One thing to learn about the last 20 months at least, that has been a drastic change in my life, is that my husband and I have started the adoption journey.
When we got married, hell while we were dating, we had discussed that there was a potential inability for me to get pregnant due to my PCOS (Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndome). My husband, amazing as he is, was perfectly okay with that, and we kind of dropped the subject since I was in school and didn't want kids until after either way.
Well, I graduated in 2015, and we still waited for about a year of just trying natrually before we decided to go another route. We went to Eckerd because we learned that adoption...it's ridiculously expensive. Private routes are near impossible to pay for without saving up for years. Foster care may be the right route...and we discussed fostering to adopt being a potential possibility.
I emailed Eckerd on September 5th, 2016, and heard back three days later. I was told that they had an orientation in October and we signed up to go to hear more information.
What we learned during orientation were a few things:
1) Fostering was definitly not for us. Eckerd's biggest goal is to get the child back with the parents, even if the parents were not showing a great track record or showing they were improving. As long as they "tried" they were allowed to keep trying, and Florida gives a LOT of opportunities to keep trying.
2) Adoption, through the syetem is free.
Let me repeat that.
ADOPTION. THROUGH THE SYSTEM. IS FREE!
We were elated! We immeditally knew this was the route we needed to go, despite the growing concerns about what we would learn later in our adoption classes.
Speaking of adoption classes...that was the next step. We signed up for the soonest availabe (one class every 8 weeks), which was December 13th, 2016 - January 31st, 2017. There were a few rules to follow:
1) Be to each Tuesday 6pm - 9pm class for 8 weeks
2) Do the "homework" provided
3) Finish the requirements for the foster/adoption.
We were one of three couples/individuals in the class to go to all 8 classes (they said you had to wait until the NEXT 8-week course section to make up the one day you missed, mama don't play that!)
There were some things that were concerning, like the horror stories they tell you that may be an issue with the children and their upbringing. These aren't going to be the babies that are given up at birth, these are going to be the kids that were taken away from their parents for their safety, but the kids may not be okay with it either way.
We decided that the age range that we are focusing on is 5-12, male or female. We even moved to ensure we had the room for a child.
We went through the process,we finished the classes, did our background checks, and even got all the paperwork but two to the adoption agency. Then...we had to wait. We waited 7 months for a piece of paper from the military for my husband, then when we finally got it, we were told our background checks at expired. (Well technically they said our finger prints had expired...and that lead to questions, and they meant background checks). We had to redo our background checks which took 5 weeks, then we were told that we would have the completed home study by the 16th of March (2018).
March 16th came and went, and I was speaking to our case manager (a lovely woman), and she was trying to update a few other things to make sure there weren't any issues. We got that done, and over all we were told we would have it by April 2nd, before our case manager had to leave for for a month for medical reasons.
April 2nd came...I reached out to the supervisor (per the case manager's request), and was ignored. I reached out again two weeks later, and then another week after. Finally, on April 30th the case manager came back from her medical leave and found the completed home study (that had evidently been sitting on a desk some where waiting to be scanned in), and sent it over.
As of April 30th, 2018 we can legally adopt!
Now, I was thinking the next part has to be the easy part...right?
Let's just say that I have reached out regarding about 10 children, and have only heard back about one thus far. So...NOW is the hard part...the waiting game of case managers getting back to us to let us know if we actually match with a child.
I'll update again when I have more information or hear anything. I'll also try to start updating this blog more as we add a child to our live, and I start being a mother. This is insane and going to be so worth it.
