Now that it's been a few months there have been a few updates.
We've learned a few things over the last couple of months, such as what the next steps are, and how annoyingly difficult it is to get ahold of ANYONE in the adoption agency.
Like, seriously...no one ever answers their phone OR calls you back! It's kind of ridiculous.
Anyways, we reached out regarding about 10 individual kids, all in different counties, all different age ranges, races, and genders. Just putting our name out there and asking if they were still avaliable.
In the two weeks, I think I heard back from one person who said they weren't. Then I called back to everyone on my list, added a few more...got a hold of another person and we had
just missed the next step for one of the children because they hadn't called back.
A couple others were already matched, a couple others still haven't gotten back to me.
We were able to reach one case manager regarding a 13 year old girl. In order to protect their privacy, I won't tell you their name or where they're from, but let's just say both my husband and I were in love. Thirteen was at the top of her age range, we reached out, nothing, reached out, nothing, reached out to a supervisor, and the supervisor got us in contact with the case manager. Then didn't hear anything again. Finally, we emailed the supervisor again and she said if we didn't hear back in the week to call her.
That night we got an email that they were doing a match meeting (the next step) on Monday, and they wanted to make sure we were interested.
For those that don't know, the Match Meeting is a step that the agency takes all interested parents, and compare them. They basically each rate the parents from best match to least best match (not worst, because they DO match, just not the best). They then move forward
only with the
best match.
We sent over our home study already, and the case manager thought we were a good match. They liked everything about us, especially that we had similar hobbies to her. We were so excited we started looking at schools in the area for middle schoolers.
Monday comes and goes, and we don't hear back. That's fine, I'll give it a day.
Tuesday comes, and by 9am I couldn't take it anymore, and called. Oops, it was the case managers cell phone, and I woke her up.
Turns out they went with another family. Their reasons made sense, logically...but we were bummed. Though they said it had nothing to do with us or our home study, just thought the other family was a better fit.
Back to square one.
It's been about a month now since then, and we matched with three other kids. All happen to be girls, between the ages of 11 and 14. One we politely turned down because of particular things mentioned in her child study that we knew we couldn't deal with. Another we weren't sold on due to the history of something that is on our "definitely no" list. The final we are absolutely in love with and think we can make a world of difference for her life.
We haven't said "no" yet to the "definitely no" list girl, only because the foster parents state she's improving lately and hasn't done it in a really long time...but we're hesitant. The disclourse step I think will help tilt us for or against.
We have minimal concerns for the final girl, there are some medical issues and developmental delays, but those are things that we can help her improve with and better her life. We're still waiting to hear back when the meeting is schedule for, to ask any final questions we have.
If we decide to move forward with either of the two girls, the next step is a supervised visitiation. We'll actually get to met our potential future daughter. I say potential because there are a few steps that can deter them or us before we legally can adopt, but I am excited to have a little girl to call my own, and teach that the world isn't complete shit.
Or even if it is, at least family can make it worth while.
